Monastic House Rules for Pandemic 2020

1. Speak only when spoken to. Extra words are opportunities for misunderstandings. If you really want to “see” someone and discuss it with them, ask them first or they might suspect the worst. Where will you go if they throw you out?
2. Watch programming you once thought unwatchable because – what the heck? Take frequent bathroom breaks to get away from the awful acting or gunpowder liquidification of other humans for revenge or spite. Ponder the possibility of gathering all the vengeful hater-people to one festival week, maybe call it Revengia and just surround them with love and acceptance. If there’s time, briefly explain democracy and the need for laws.
3. Read to slow the time. The books you have been avoiding finishing may have a reason behind that choice. Bag them up.
4. Eat until you feel comforted. Then stop. Drink water. Flavor it with wine or spirits but very sparingly so you still feel love for your community but you don’t want to slobber all over them.
5. Watch news sparingly and NEVER the White House group of fools or Fox News. Depression will wash over you like Niagara Falls as their lies make you gasp at their ignorance and then know that it’s all cleverly orchestrated so they can still make money as we die.
6. Pray sparingly – God’s answers may be harsher than you’d like. Also, it draws God’s attention to the sick person and then He/She has to make a decision about them. Or don’t pray and imagine it’s all part of a Cruella DeVille type plan to exterminate you and your loved ones and the animated “you” will eventually prevail. Know that this is a hallucination.
7. Relax and think about living. If you had to go into isolation at a hospital today and don’t know if you’ll ever return home – who have you been and what do you leave behind in the metaphysical place where you once were.
8. If you have a pet or a person you truly care about and can show them your dedication and love. Do it. If you don’t, then think about finding one before the next outbreak.