Still Learning

Today I am at rest for the first time in a while. This is just a temporary state as I am also here with you, dear reader, and that causes me to learn. To learn how to put things into meaningful words. I am currently in a play about mature women and making life choices for their future. “My clock’s ticking Jeannie and I’ve got to have a plan.” I choose to learn from this play as it is oddly linked to the last play I performed in entitled “The Safe House,” in which the protagonist is slowly forgetting things and is being encouraged to decide between a care facility and her home. Both plays are about mature women who are trying to find out who they are, what they’ve become and what they need to move forward with some joy or satisfaction in themselves. The rules have certainly changed. In order to learn, I have to stop and listen and read and ask questions and sort through. I need a plan because it comforts me to have somewhere to land in a place in life in which I know something; the currency, the language, and the people. Who are these senior citizens that I am being swiftly swept to join in their endgame demographic? I know that they move more slowly, are quick to criticize, often live in the past, talk endlessly about insurance and Medicare and personal health. But they are also very gentle, tell amazing stories, love their families and friends deeply and sincerely and can be calming and sweet to be around. Who will I be when I finally join you? Will I understand you? Or will I forever feel on the outside looking in and unable to learn enough to be a good senior – not troublesome or difficult but ever helpful and hopefully, funny.